Everywhere I go, everything I do, I have a shadow. A little boy who needs to be by me no matter what. If I'm cooking in the kitchen, then he's helping me gather ingredients. If I'm getting dressed, he looks in my jewelry box to see what necklace I should wear. If I run outside to my car, then he presses his little face against the window and watches my every move. If I take a shower while he is awake, he comes in, pulls back the shower curtain and says, "Hi, Mommy!!"
And if I should make the horrible mistake of locking the door when I take a shower, his little heart is broken and he cries and beats on the door, sobbing uncontrollably, wailing "Mommy!". Nothing can make him feel better, not even Daddy trying to hold him. Nothing eases his sadness until I emerge from the bathroom, towel wrapped around my hair and he asks me, his little face soaking wet with tears, "Mommy, all clean??"
To think that I could ever wish for the day when I can take a shower in peace. That I could ever dream of making lunch without worrying my sweet two year old is going to burn himself because he wants to see what I'm cooking on the stove.
Some things stay the same from child to child. There are diapers. There are feedings. There are late night awakenings. But that's where the similarities end. And if I'm not careful, I tend to want to ride this roller coaster of emotions that Lucas is on. But THEN I remember that I don't have to let the ups and downs of the day control me. My day is good because I choose for it to be...not because of what happened to me during it.
This season is so, so sweet. I read this today--"the older my children get, the clearer my vision gets".
Ain't that the truth.
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| This is my attempt at taking a passport photo of Lucas. #fail |
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| He decided he looks good in this hat. |
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